I realized that today – as I was having a conversation with my fat boy.
He doesn’t interrupt much. He listens – really listens – instead of daydreaming about sniffing ass and PRETENDING to listen to me. Not that anyone does that, I’m just saying. He follows me around and cries when I’m not talking to him or scratching his head. He is devoted. I heart him.
Mister Link. Not very zelda like, but my kids are nerds.
Can you see how massive he is? He’s a big fella. He hates almost all food, yet he weighs 5000 pounds. Ignore the cramped living room. We are busting out of this place. Putting $ back to buy a bigger house. Strange, since almost all the kids are grown. I still need to house C and his girl. Bana. ~ I A N ~. A and his friend when they leave the Marines. (IF he leaves. Dammit. I want him home and he thinks he can be young and carefree and see the world. At least we can Facetime. Thank God for technology. Keeps me sane. Sort of.
I mean, I have tons to tell, but I lack the give a shit to put together a coherent thought. I work, I try not to fall asleep, and I sleep. Those are really my three phases of life right now. It leaves me drained and grouchy – Just ask Jay. He has stopped beating his head against a wall when it comes to me.
He just ignores me when I act like a child. Which just infuriates me more. Also pulls my head out of my ass quicker than engaging into the fight with me. He’s my fixer. Always has been. He and I are getting along so fucking well it scares me. Without money and bills to stress about – we are finding that we actually enjoy each other. Friends again. I needed it. He’s been super sensitive to my needs lately. I asked him if he was screwing around and feeling guilty about it. He rolled his eyes and kissed my forehead. I accuse him of other women constantly. I know I shouldn’t. I have no reason. But it no matter. I’m crazy, remember?
We are going out tonight for the first time in months. We’re going out to eat with ~ I A N ~ and C’s girlfriend so she’s not home alone while he’s at work. Bana is at work too. But when they get home, Jay and I are going to watch some volleyball games and relax. Then we’re going to enjoy each other in a way that has never been an issue.