All little birdies must leave the nest ….

I guess so. My little birdies are breaking my heart by moving out. Carson wants to get an apartment this fall, SavannaBana is moving about an hour away after next year to a neighboring college. Austin’s been gone for 3 years. Zach’s been gone for 6 years. Tyler for 7 years. What the fuck people? Where in the hell did the time go? Seriously. Once you hit a certain age, whammo, the ride gets faster. I’m zipping through my life – their life – at an amazing speed. I barely have it together to plan holidays these days, and then I go on happily many weeks/months later about how I’m going to make …rolls for Thanksgiving, or cookies for Christmas – only to have a family member remind me that X already passed. Either I’m just tired, or I have fucking dementia. I swear. Damn time warp, only I wasn’t invited. Always late to the party. I’m going on about bullshit.

I should be cleaning.

I don’t clean anymore. If you used to read, way back when I wasn’t a student or a worker, but a lean mean cleaning machine who stayed home and ran a badass household with 6 kids and probably ….. 50,000 neighbor kids, and life ticked by at a seemingly normal / almost dragass pace. Payday never came soon enough. Wished my damn life away over money. Now money isn’t so tight (most of the time), and there isn’t any time to spend it. Even when we’re off work – I only get one day a week off, and he’s the only salesman in this area that sells cable to the businesses in town. So he’s busy as shit most days answering the phone and running to installs. When we have a break together, we rest. We try to relax and enjoy what kids we have left and we are starting to realize how different life is going to be like when everybody’s gone.

Well, fuck that was depressing.

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