I told myself 2 am. Let’s see if I make it.

Doubtful. I’m still hungry. Taco Bell screwed up my order again and I went hungeeee all night. Assholes. How fucking hard is it guys? I did it. It’s not hard. Step by step. Get the food out. The right fucking food. I hate working when I’m that hungry.

Damn, let me step out for a cookie. Alrighty. Try 6 cookies. Stop. Just stop.

Omhell. The ‘radio’ I have in my head is playing so fucking loud that i can’t hear myself think. That’s no bullshit. Right now ted nugent is come on come on come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Best part right there, but Let’s turn it down now. My gawd. I do not control the music in my head. Nor the horrorvision that plays nonstop horrific images of the worst of what can happen of any situation. My stress rides at all all time high when the kids drive. I see pictures of them wrapping themselves around a tree or getting hit by a semi or hit by a rock thrown over the fucking bridge on 22nd street. I mean, seriously. My brain has gone out to lunch and left me here dumb as a box of rocks, emotions out and about cause I’m all friendly and shit now, and I keep getting hit in the head with a shovel out of nowhere. There’s even a po rn channel in my mind. I don’t control this either. Thankfully, my OCD has given me one that I can handle. It’s nothing more than a non stop fantasy in one way or another. Usually with my husband, so it’s all good.

so back to the radio, it’s fucking loud and this bitch doesn’t control the volume. Sometimes if I change what I’m doing, I’ll get a reprieve for awhile. I don’t mind the music so much, but I don’t understand why it’s so fucking loud tonight. Enough whining. Could be worse. I could hear voices instead.

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