I cannot get this song out of my head. Cannot. Repeat for weeks now. Usually happens, but for days at a time. If I’m not listening to it, my mind is playing it over and over.
all i really know, you’re where i want to go….
That movie ending stayed with me for awhile too. I get so fucking sad for anyone that feels like the best thing they can do in life is to die. How utterly tragic and really fucking sad. And the babies killing themselves nowadays! 11 years old, 14 years old, 20 years old ….. What the fuck? It would be easy to blame the parents for not being in the kid’s life or whatnot, but when it comes down to it – it’s the kid’s choice , not the parent’s. I raised 6 kids basically the same way – I worried EVERY FUCKING TIME that my sensitive kiddos went into emotional overload that they were going to go off and kill themselves. Ask my husband. Drove him insane. But I could ‘see’ it. I could see them being that upset that they could possibly see no other alternatives – it doesn’t take much to come to that conclusion when you are a teenager and you really don’t have all that much in your life to begin with. One bad week of being bullied or teased or getting dumped by girlfriend or getting a bad grade or getting grounded or a broken xbox. Then add mama getting on to them for whatever reason? Shit, I could see a bad couple of options, and in one of them – “I” don’t make it out alive either. Fuck that. My kids were basically on suicide watch when ever I even barely suspected that they were a tad unstable in the emotions department. Bana was young and cute and I would use her to check on them – she’d bring her tea set into their room and give them juice and cookies. I would come in and ‘save’ them from her tea party, and then I could judge by talking to them whether things had cooled down or not. Telling ya, I’m a human barometer when it comes to emotional reading. Is there such a thing? I can tell you what you’re feeling before you can lol. All over your face. In your tone. Your hands. I can feel it on the back of my neck the instant I’ve invested enough time into someone to tell that they’re bipolar. In fact, I’m pretty good at diagnosing/guessing people’s conditions before they go in – and I’m usually correct. Border line personality disorder always trips me up.
the ending made me sad for days .Sorry to ruin in for anyone. If you don’t know what I’m talking about , then move along with your bad self.
Think I need a hot bath. Yeah. That’s exactly what I need.