Trying to make some hard decisions

Our grandbaby (awwww) is due on Feb 2nd. Baby girl. Emily Nichole. My middle name is Nichol. Do I stop posting here and move to moodygigi? I think I have the name already. I do. Already have a post up. Not that I remember doing it. My life is like that. Full of surprises.

I miss having a IRL friend. Part of you dies inside when you realize that no one. No one gives two shits about what you have to say. My husband, but I need more. I need to talk for hours on the phone every so many weeks. I need someone to help steer my ship, a therapist of sorts. I need to sit and absorb your you, and learn what makes you tick. I need a new best friend. Too bad it ain’t that easy. Besides, all my friends die. Who would want to step into that role.

My cousin died. She was my best friend. We were 11.

Larry died. He was one of my best friends for awhile.

Andrea died. She killed herself. Kind of fucked me up a little. She was my best friend in the army.

Shawn died. Shawn was the male me. I loved him fiercely. He died way too fucking young at 29.

Jennifer died. For over 25 years, she was my best friend. She had diabetes, and insisted on having three children. I now work with her son, and talk to the girls regularly through FB. I miss her terribly.

Dad died. Dad was one of my closest friends. Could talk to him about anything. Dad got cancer like Shawn. Fucking cancer.

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