Was going to be careful ….

about who I invite here, but everyone still has the link and if any of the ones I didn’t want reading happen to see me posting again, then I’m not really free to talk, eh? S’ok. I’d rather be free to say what I want, but I’ll continue to watch what I say. Sucks though.

My gums hurt. I keep grinding my teeth and my gums are suffering. I’ve been chewing gum like a motherfucker to keep from chewing my enamel away.

Carson will be 20 tomorrow. I am shaking my fucking head over that statement. 20. Twenty. My crazy little guy is now a near normal, near perfect human specimen. He is polite and kind – genuinely makes him happy to see other people smile. He spoils his girlfriend rotten. She spoils him as well, so they’re even. And sickening. Anyway, he has money in the bank, always makes sure he pays his bills, and he’s careful what he spends. I’m just so proud of him for how far he’s come. Seriously. I remember. THe shoes flying at my head because he didn’t understand what I was saying. His oatmeal had to be perfect every day. Books lining the house. We lived in a literal world. But you know what? They say one of the most important things you can do for an autistic child is to put them around others so they can emulate. We had a built in social group in our house. 6 kids, 2 adults, millions of other kids coming and going every day. Interacting with him – like it or not. He has learned to be ‘normal’ by watching his siblings. Except he takes most things to the next level. Be nice to your girlfriend means – get her door. He does, every time. Every door. She blushes every time. They’ll be married sooner than later.

I like her though. She ‘gets’ him. She ‘helps’ him at times. THAT’s what “I” was looking for in a partner for him. Not that he needs special help, but someone who was patient and could help him learn new areas of life he’s bound to come across living more and more on his own. He needs help navigating new things, but once he’s done it once – he’ll do it perfectly every other time thereafter.

I have insurance bullshit to wade through. I have procrastinated long enough.

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